The middles are at church with Aunty this morning, and I got to finish the puzzle. If you look closely, you can see there is one piece that wasn't quite ready to be with the others and has gone on a rogue adventure alone. It bothered me for about 20 seconds until I remembered how many little hands helped me put the puzzle together. Like many experiences in life, this puzzle is imperfectly perfect. If you don't know what I mean, just think about childbirth. Or making Christmas cookies with children. Or photoshoots with children. Basically anything with children. Or cats.
I was warming up a second cup of coffee, thinking about that rogue puzzle piece when a voice from the past interrupted me. This voice was from a woman and a friend who I had a lot of admiration for as a young adult. I was taken back to the night she sat on the bed opposite to me. She was beautiful, talented, confident, popular, and a good Christian. If I had to compare - and at the time I was really amazing at comparing myself to others - I'd say she was a heck of a lot better than me in many ways. I wanted to be like her. I wanted to fit in. I didn't just want to be good, I wanted to be the ever elusive good enough.
So I shared with her how I was feeling in this group we lived and traveled with. A group of incredible young adults all on this adventure of a lifetime. I shared how I felt lonely among peers and like I didn't quite fit in.
And she, in her youth-like wisdom said, "Maybe you will never fit in. Maybe you are that piece of the puzzle that just doesn't fit".
I bit it. I believed her. I swallowed that poison apple like it was the truth. After all, she was amazing - and she loved Jesus - so it must have been wisdom from God! And just like that - that innocent curse took root. And though I rarely thought about those exact words, I lived by them. Believing that I was an outsider looking in. Believing that what I have to offer isn't valuable for the bigger picture. Believing that I don't belong.
But here's the magic of this morning. I believe God spoke to me this morning. Why the 20 year wait, that is a mystery, but this morning the puzzle curse was addressed.
And this is the truth I now know.
Every piece fits.
That curse doesn't even make sense because every frickin piece of the puzzle fits.
Every weird piece fits. Every funky shape fits. Even the rogue ones have a place just waiting for them to jump in and join. Every piece that no matter how long I look at it, it still looks like it doesn't belong anywhere...fits. Every single piece has a place - and fits - perfectly.
I fit. You fit. We all fit, together. Perfectly.
This is amazing, isn't it? It's just too good to sit here and type about. I gotta go. I gotta go live in my new truth.